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| That really bad drawing on the bottom is going to be an outline/ sillouette of green buildings. |
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| This is how I think I am going to organize the type Jessica--my email is coria at randoco dot com. Email me yours? |
From Jessica
I was a little bit confused as to how the hand drawn sketch related to the file you posted. I like the idea of the buildings you mentioned. I think that would create a nice visual as opposed to all text. One thing I'm concerned with is that the piece you posted looked very top heavy to me. With the "Leeder" on the top in green, and everything else below it in gray or black, it just seems a bit unbalance to me. Unless you plan on adding the buildings at the bottom, you might want to play around with it a bit. Also, I don't think you need the "x" in there to explain the x-height. I feel its a bit distracting, and may confuse someone who is not familiar with typography. I like your idea of having the numbers scattered around with the descriptions, but you might want to try scattering them a bit more. I think they still look placed and somewhat organized, rather than randomized, which I feel is what you were going for.
Critique from Eric
-The sketch at the bottom really ties it all together and gives it a weighted and balanced look. A great thing for a magazine about construction as well as a type anatomy poster.
-I would consider increasing the size of your definitions. Maybe remove the anatomy of type part and raise the masthead to give you a little more room?
-The x height thing is a clever solution, however I would lighten the grey even more. I feel it still has a little too much visual weight compared to the green.
-I miss your screw logo, but am not sure how you can work it in effectively.
Design Response
I tried to address the balance issue that Jessica mentioned by making the scale of the buildings larger. Once I did that, the scattered descriptions looked 'off' so I grouped them in short columns. Now the "Anatomy of Type" is looking a little lost/misplaced in the upper right, so I need to find a way to make it look like it belongs there without overshadowing the purpose of the poster. I lightened the 'x' and increased the font size of the definitions.
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| Response to Jessica and Eric's Critique |
Class Critique
- Rework the numbers. Sequence them.
- Reduce the size of dotted lines or change them.
- Consider making definitions italic.
-Think about making one building green and the rest black.
- Make definitions flush left with the logo.
-Rework the italic title.
Design Response
I replaced the numbers with the titles and changed the dotted lines to solid, light grey lines. Italic definitions didn't look right, but I did work on making them look more ordered by flushing them with the "leeder" text and grouping them differently. Finally, I changed the color and composition of the buildings.
